Crack

September 13, 2010 at 5:38 pm · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: accountability, addiction, babies, child protective services, compassion, crack, drug addiction, high school, high school teaching, mentor, sex addiction, Teaching

A former student of mine who graduated a few years ago came by the school to say hello to me.  Her senior year, and even in the years following her graduation, she had sort of adopted me as her mentor.  She can be a sweet girl when she lets her guard down, and she is very smart.  I’ve always had a soft place in my heart for C., and have always felt horrible about the conditions in which she grew up.

Now C. is twenty one years old and has three young children.  She has also had two miscarriages, adding up to five pregnancies total.  As I am just four hours a day now, I was not at school when she dropped by, but she told my boss to tell me that she is “clean now.”  I’m sure I looked puzzled when I asked him, “Clean from what?”  She has never mentioned drug use to me before.  She’s told me plenty about her younger sister, who has used everything from pot to heroin, and has twice tried to kill herself by drinking antifreeze.  I had thought, however, that C.’s only addiction was to sex.

So when my principal answered my question with, “She’s not smoking crack anymore,” I think my jaw dropped open.  C. had been using crack, even during her pregnancies.  My reaction at the time was one of complete anger.  I told my boss to tell her I was angry and that I didn’t want to talk to her.  Those poor little babies…I wanted her to know how strongly I feel about this.  I told my mom the story, and Mom said, “But now she’s clean…”

So now I don’t really know what to say to her.  Yes, I am glad she is clean.  Clean for now.  I hope she can stay that way.  But I do want her to know how angry I am; this is not a matter to take lightly.  Like I say, I just really don’t know what to say to her.  I don’t want her to feel like I am not there for her to talk to, especially if it will help her children.  I also feel like we need to call child protective services, and it is possible that they could take her children away.  I will have to ask our social worker what she thinks. 

I really wish this kind of thing never came up in any school anywhere. 

Who could hurt a defenseless little baby?  Someone who has been hurt so much that they’ve lost all sense of right and wrong?  It’s a cycle, for sure, but I wonder who started this horrible cycle in the first place.  And people do have to take responsibility for themselves at some point; I know people who have broken the cycle, so it is possible. 

Where is the line between compassion and holding a person accountable for her mistakes?

Comments